A Suggestion
by Mechanical Orange
Summary: One Suggestion.  Five measly words was all it took to change Sirius Black's life forever.  One shot.  SBOC


"Maybe we should get married," Myra Andrich suggested off-handedly upon returning to her boyfriend Sirius Black's flat. She was still holding the bouquet she caught at James and Lily Potter's wedding. "Have you a vase?" she called from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I think it's in the cupboard over the sink," he replied from his bedroom. "What did you say before?"

"I said, maybe we should get married," Myra answered, entering his bedroom with the bouquet neatly arranged in a glass vase. She set the flowers on the nightstand.

"Married?" he repeated, stopping short.

"Yeah, married," she replied. She smiled innocently. "Don't you think it would be a good idea?"

"Are you drunk a bit?" Sirius asked tentatively.

"No!" Myra said with an indignant look on her face.

Myra wanted to get married. Of course she wanted to get married; she had just been to a wedding. And a fun one, at that. Unfortunately, Sirius feared, the blushing bride had made Myra envious.

"Why do you want to get married?" Sirius inquired as he changed out of his dress robes.

"Why not?" Myra answered playfully. "We're old enough. We're in love. I don't see any reason why we shouldn't."

"Yeah well… I don't know." He slipped on a pair of pants and a shirt. Myra sat on the edge of his bed, gazing at him expectantly. She clearly wanted him to continue. "I mean… don't you think it's a bit, I don't know, soon?"

"What do you mean? We've dated for almost three years," she replied.

"Yeah, but—"

"James and Lily dated for that long."

"Yeah, but—"

"And now they're married."

"Yeah, but—"

"So I really don't see any difference between them and us," Myra finished, voice raised slightly.

"Yeah, well… they are different than us."

"How's that?" She gazed at him with mock inquistiveness.

"Well, they're married," he answered with a sly grin on his face.

"Oh, for once can't you be serious?" she sighed.

"I always am Sirius, I thought." He grinned wider.

"You know what I mean," she said, exasperated.

"Yeah, I do," he said, sitting on the bed next to her. "But I mean… if we're happy now, like this," he cupped his hand around her face, "why don't we just stay like this?" He moved some of her long brown hair out of her face and leaned in to kiss her, but she pushed him away.

"If we're happy now, practically married, why don't we just get married?" she responded angrily.

"Oh, come off it, Myra," he said, taking his hand away from her face. "I don't think marriage is all it's cracked up to be."

"Have you ever been married?" she asked. At the disdainful look on his face she continued, "Then how would you know?"

"It's just…" he trailed off, searching for the right words. "People are just running off getting married for the hell of it now. All because of Voldemort."

"So James and Lily just got married because of Voldemort?" Myra crossed her arms and fixed a reproachful glare at him.

"Well… I-no, I just… stop dragging them into this!" he said heatedly. He stood up and started to pace in front of the bed.

"No! Not until you tell me why it's okay for them to get married and us not to!" Myra cried.

"It's just… I mean, they're meant for each other, you know?" Sirius ran his fingers distractedly through his dark hair.

"And how do you know that? And how do you know we're not?"

"I just… Look, they just… James has liked Lily for years and you just knew they'd end up together. I mean, after school they both joined the Order together. They do everything together," Sirius said.

"We do lots of things together."

"You didn't join the Order," Sirius muttered. He stopped pacing and stood in front of Myra. He gave her an appraising sort of look, as if he was seeing her for the first time.

"So that's it? You won't marry me because I'm not in your club to stop Voldemort?" she snapped back.

"Don't—it's not a club, Myra." Sirius said with a hint of warning in his voice.

"I know damn well what it is! It's a bunch of people who've signed up to get themselves killed!" Myra yelled. Sirius's jaw clenched and his face flushed. He looked as if he wanted to hit her.

"You don't understand! If someone doesn't do something then who will?"

"Isn't the Ministry supposed to handle all that? Why don't you just let them take care of it?" she asked, knowing mentioning the Ministry would only make him angrier.

Sirius barked a sardonic laugh. "If we let the Ministry handle it, we'd all be dead within a week!" he growled. Myra put her head in her hands and sighed. Her brown eyes welled with tears. Sirius looked around the room resignedly for a moment, before resuming his seat next to her on the bed. "Look, I'm sorry, Myra." He put his arm around her, pulling her closer to him.

"No, I know you're right," she said, stifling sobs. "I know what you do, and I know it's a good thing." She wiped her eyes and looked up at him. "I'm just… I'm scared, Sirius."

"I am too," he whispered. He kissed the top of her head. "But everything's going to be all right." Myra shook her head.

"But how can you know? How can you promise that you'll be able to come home every night? That you'll be alive?" Sirius looked at the floor and didn't respond. "I'm proud of what you do, Sirius," Myra whispered. "But I can't do it too."

"No one's going to make you join the Order," he replied. Myra shook her head again.

"I know, but I think you might be right. We're not meant for each other." Sirius pushed her away from him, confusion etched on his face.

"Don't say that, Myra," he said while holding her arm's length away from him. "That's not what I meant when I said that. What I meant was—"

"I know what you meant. But I'm not going to join the Order, and you're not going to marry me," she smiled sadly.

"So?"

"So then what's the point of me staying here?"

"What are you getting at?"

"Sirius, I don't want to just stay here in this relationship if it's not going to go anywhere."

"Who says it's not going to go anywhere?"

"If you're not going to marry me—" Myra began.

"Not right this instant!" Frustration outlined Sirius's face yet again.

"Yes, but if not now, then when?" Myra countered crossly.

"I don't know… later," Sirius replied lamely.

"Yeah, and what if you're dead later?"

"Myra, I could die tomorrow for all anyone knows!" Sirius cried.

"I know!" Myra yelled, standing up. "That's exactly my point!"

"Fine!" he yelled back, standing up as well. "Fine! Then let's get married! If it'll make you feel better!"

"Sirius… that's not… that's not the point," Myra muttered. She looked down at her feet.

"I thought that's what you wanted!" he replied, sounding very aggravated and looking very confused.

"Not like that! Not like I'm forcing you!"

"You're not! Look," he lowered his voice, "I'll even do it properly." He dropped to his knees and took Myra's hand in his. "Myra Andrich, will you marry me?" He looked up at her with a half-smile on his face. He resembled a puppy pleased to have done something right.

"You know I want to Sirius, but I can't," she whispered. Sirius dropped her hand.

"Why?" he asked sharply, the look of happiness suddenly gone from his face. He sprang to his feet. "That's what you wanted. That's why we've just spent the last twenty minutes arguing!"

"I know!" Myra cried, tears forming in her eyes again. "But let's face it; we're both too scared to give the other what they really want." She smiled sadly and wiped away tears from her eyes.

"Myra… I'm not scared, I'm just—" Sirius began, reaching toward her.

"I'm sorry, Sirius," she whispered, brushing his hands away. "I love you."

"I love you too…"

And she was gone. Sirius collapsed on his bed in frustration and sorrow. He had just spent the last hour watching his girlfriend of three years collect all her things from his flat. He had argued with her the whole time, about how she was being stupid and that he loved her and would do anything for her. And all she kept saying was how she loved him but couldn't marry him, because they were all wrong for each other and would be miserable together, and other such rubbish like that. He had tried to make her see reason. He had practically begged her to stay. She had not yielded. And then he had watched her walk out the door.

One of the happiest days of Sirius Black's life had just become one of the most miserable.


End file.
